Lately it's been a Roller coaster ride for me.
At one point, when you thought everything and everyone is okay something will happen wrong and the saddest part is that when you look back, no one sees you. :(
I know my friends come to me to get positive vibes coz they said I have that aura and they said lagi akong POSITIBO.... but now, i dunno, maybe my period is coming already or , maybe this is just a form of STRESS.
I know I can be or I am so in capacity to think of the unthinkable , yeah i am paranoid! (not proud of it though, but i made people angry and laugh over my paranoia at the same time sometimes..)
I am trying to be brave when inside it's like im giving up. You know what my problem is, I think of many things.. I think of finding ways to resolve things. And maybe thats the reason why the most important people in my life misunderstood me. I dont want to blame anyone, or point at them thats why i am feeling this way. I know they know I just CARED a LOT. and I thought thats what they would see. The years of obstacles were vanished with all the constant love and joy and everyhting seems perfect yet it still ended up crashing into pieces, left unappreciated and unloved.
i know i confuse you.. This is me.. Im just simple and complicated at times. and i bet you after a while youll see me smile again. Coz i maybe the drama queen but no and never will i be a quitter.!!
I will continue to love people who i think care no more4 for me and continue to do good things and continue to be me. JUST me. I am no perfect. I have a temper. and I will forever be GOd's child humbled of His blessings and still has the faith. STILL HOLDING ON!
So maybe ill talk to myself now, Jen, Just cry and do not complain for God sees what you do. God sees your heart .God is with you. and there are still a lot of people who cared and loved you. STOP thinking for now and relax. forgive yourself and forgive them in return. Please no one but God and everything will follow.
